Anyone who grew up with me knows I'm a night owl and I LOVE infomercials. I've owned the Clapper, the Swiffer, the Sham-Wow, the Blendtec, and the Forman Grill all because I saw them on TV. I've even shopped in the As Seen On TV store, which is awesome, by the way. I thought getting sucked into infomercials was a thing of the past. Since I gave up my cable (and currently have only six channels), infomercials are once again my only option after 2 am. But this was no ordinary infomercial. This was INSANITY.
Just like P90X, I had heard of Insanity but I didn't really know what the routines were like. The host and creator, Shaun T, didn't seem all that special. How do you best Tony Horton? The man is a superstar, changing lives across this great nation of ours, and whipping our soldiers into tip top shape. The answer became clear almost instantly. Three words; Non Stop Cardio. Every workout had "cardio" in the title. Hmm. I do like the variety of P90X. It works all your muscle groups every week. On the other hand, the Insanity workouts are shorter, and cardio is the best way to melt all that fat. I was starting to get sucked in. P90X: six days a week for 90 days. Insanity: five days a week for 60 days. Well, well, well. Insanity promises a shorter program with shorter routines, less days a week, less equipment, and the same killer results. Let's face it, it's mostly about what you eat, anyway. Alright...SOLD!
The key to Insanity is longer periods of high intensity and shorter periods of rest. I watched the clips of people leaving puddles of sweat on the gym floor beneath them. I think we already established in my last blog how much I love to sweat. I was starting to get psyched! But was I fit enough for such a non-stop workout at such high intensity? "Maybe I should just finish this round of P90X, train for marathon, and worry about Intensity next year." But it was too late. The challenge had been extended through this infectious late night paid advertisement. I was curious to see what I was really made of.
Today. August 30th. Day 1 of Insanity. On the first day you take the Fit Test so you can track your progress. "Fit Test? You mean, I don't even workout on Day 1. Great! Sounds easy." I watched it once to get a feel for the routine. "It wasn't even 30 minutes long. Piece of cake. Wait, why is that guy sweating so much during a simple fitness test? That seems odd. And that girl is moving fast but she doesn't have the best form." I was certain that my technique would be stellar in comparison, even though that girl looked fit as a fiddle. I was wrong.
I've never worked harder in my life. After the first minute, my lungs were burning and I was gasping for air. I had vastly underestimated this program. By the end of this "simple" Fit Test, I felt as though I might vomit if I had to do one more move. Even now, I still feel "off." As Ron Burgundy would say, I immediately regret this decision. I don't know if I'll survive these next sixty days but there's no turning back now. Reality has set in, I am waaaaaay out of shape, but I've made up my mind. I took my "Before" picture. I've figured out my meal plan. I've picked out a white coat and I'm choosing Insanity.
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